His Point of View

Over the weekend I had a conversation with a young lady and the following question arose “what’s the difference between a friend (of the opposite sex, in my case) and someone you date?”

Her answer is that she goes on “dates” all the time with guys whom she considers to just be friends. And that’s they way it should be.
By “date” I mean an outing with only 2 people, the typical stuff movies, dinner, social events, shows, museums etc… She says that when you start trying to label different types of relationships that causes problems. ( I will do a another post about this line of thinking…come back for more on this topic soon…) I then made the comment that this scenario is 100% fine as long as both parties involved know that you are just two friends going out, and that there is no one party thinking of this as a traditional date. She did not respond to that statement… I only got a smile from her.

She then asked me what is the difference in going out on the town with a female friend as compared to when I go out with a woman I am “dating” (meaning in a romantic relationship with or attempting to establish a relationship with). And I responded with, “I don’t go on dates with my female friends.” I do have close female friends, and we do go out together, usually it’s in a group setting and rarely is it just the two of us. In those rare times when it is just the two of us it’s probably a random occurrence which was not planned in advance, with the exception of going out to clubs or bars. The reason that I am able to go out to bars and clubs with female friends is because we both know that we are there to meet other people, drink, and have fun… we are not going out to the bar or club to spend time together.

I have never found myself sitting at home with a desire to pick up the phone and call a female friend to go out with me for a few reasons:

First, most of them are dating someone or in a relationship of their own, so why would I want to put us in a setting to appear as if we were doing something inappropriate?

Second, there are a few young ladies I am actually interested in dating (usually), so I would prefer to spend my time out with one of those young ladies.

Third, most of my female friends would look at me as if I lost my mind if I called them up and asked them to join me out for dinner and a walk along the riverfront. What guy does that if they are not attempting to either form a romantic relationship or get you in bed?

Ok, now this young lady should read this blog post so I don’t want her to feel as if I am attacking her… I am not, but as I have written this post a few questions have come to mind, but I will ask only one.

Are people who blur the lines of friendship and relationships doing so because they are not in a relationship and they still want to get the attention from another person that being in a relationship would provide?

So people… am I wrong??? Should I be going out more on dates with my female friends? Or is she blurring the lines of friendship and romance?