His Point of View

It is true that many men have declining looks as well, but the point here is that most women are attracted more by what a man has to offer rather than his looks. Most women can date a not so looking guy who seems to be financially secure. Where as most men are attracted by women's looks more than other factors. If a woman looks good most men will give her more of a chance to see if a relationship can work. If a man appears to be successful ( by what ever means a woman determines success) she is more likely to give that guy a chance, over a good looking dude who appears to be less successful. Of course I am talking about people past their early 20's where all everyone cares about is looks and having fun.

I don't think women depreciate and take somewhat offense. This is a vicious cycle that will never break as long as men are the visual creatures they are, placing emphasis on the outer appearance thereby having the reaction from women (most, not all), that that's solely where their value lie. Yes, as we get older I wouldn't say it's hard to stay with standards but you have to turn a blind eye to the happenings within the world of dating, be strong and move on…..even if that means moving on from dating in and of itself. We all want to have that significant other to enjoy, raise a family and grow old with but never at the cost of me, myself. There are two sides to the coin and one continuously affects and reacts to the other. One being either male or female and the other being either female or male. I believe when men learn and become removed from all that' s vain and vanity, the reaction from women will be to dig a little digger and find the women she's meant to be. I'm not placing the blame on either sex, it's just my belief that as long as sex sells as well as bootylicious over ethics, morality and all those things that matter, yes women will continue to scramble and strive to physically edge out all competitors as it is a race to be won. I believe if men, from the gate start their quest for a “good woman” as oppose to weeding, sowing, wading through the masses and wasting time, leaving fallen victims along the way, it will reduce the amount of time a woman spends getting used and recycled. I believe when women hold to values and require men to up the ante, and change the cycle of “love 'em and leave 'em” during their (men) first years of dating….all in the name of good sex or a good time, to marriage first, growing into love next and finally happy ever after, we'll all fair better. I believe if we all hold to a standard, that can only result in ridding relationships of so much the residual weight and baggage we find ourselves still carrying years later or adversely affecting subsequent relationships, thereby killing what could very well become healthy and thirving. Both sexes have some mending, fixing, healing, learning to do and until such time, it's my belief that the cycle of lost in love or the attempt thereof will remain futile.

Hi, i respectfully disagre. Im sure there are still a ton of women who do look for financial security as one of the top requirenments in a mate. its almost ingrained. However, now that many women are makign it on their own – men's earning ability is now so important at all. I really coudnt care less about how much he earns, nor do most of the women i know. And i am an attractive late 20s woman, not a top level exec in my 40s. Also, here is a very important point that i think men often confuse – a woman STILL has to find you sexually arousing for romantic feelings to develop, so making a shit load of money isnt going to magically make a women fall in love with a man. Marry him maybe, but definitely that would be more of a business decision where you sell your beauty and youth for financial stability, not exactly love. Romantic love and sexual attraction for women ALSO required looks, yep just like for the male part of the human species. After all women are only human. Also, another reason why good looking women date men who are not that attractive – because there isnt that much choice unfortunately. Its either that, or you go sexless and lone. When a joe blow wants a 10, its kinda hard for the most women to find someone just as attractive as they are.So my point is – i am not physically attracted to older, balder, flabbier men no more than men are attracted to aging women.

my bad then. if you are talking simply pairing up for whatever reason, cool. guess i was misled by the “the point here is that most women are attracted more by what a man has to offer rather than his looks. Most women can date a not so looking guy who seems to be financially secure. Where as most men are attracted by women's looks more than other factors. If a woman looks good most men will give her more of a chance to see if a relationship can work.” part. This implied, to me, a romantic relationship. Again, i guess i misinterpreted your column.

Regarding your last comment, I am not talking about any particular type of relationship… it can be marriage, dating, sugar daddy, whatever, I am just speaking very generally about relations between men and women.

Regarding this comment, this post is not meant to be written as a fact that applies 100% of the time. Step back and don't try to make what I say fit every situation. The essence of this post is that men with money and women with looks have more dating options… and usually younger women look the best, and older men typically have the most money. There for as men get older we have more dating options, and younger women have more dating options than most older women. You can't take money out of this equation. And yes there are always exceptions, some older women are very attractive, some younger guys are rich… and some people (very few) can be involved with someone with no regard for their looks or financial stability.