His Point of View

Can your accomplishments in life frighten off potential mates?  Or is it best that people who are weak enough to feel that you are “better” than they are weeded out early in the dating process?

I have read and heard that entrepreneurs, people with advanced degrees (e.g. Master’s or PhD.), people who have seen the world, or even those who are very popular locally, etc. have difficulty maintaining relationships.  Often I feel that high achievers, or those who THINK that they are high achievers may attribute failed relationships to the idea that the person they were dating was not comfortable with or able to handle their success.   I feel that often these high achievers are overlooking some character flaw or personality flaw and using their perceived success as a way to rationalize their failed relationships without being truly introspective.

In some rare cases though, success can be a factor in a failed relationship.  I have first hand experience in this department.  I had one person I dated for a fairly long time tell me that she did not feel as if she were good enough for me.  I was absolutely dumbfounded during that conversation.  I do not understand how any person walking the Earth can feel as if another person is “better” or that you are not worth another person’s time.   At this point in my life I know better than to keep these types of people in my company, as I see it as an extreme weakness.

In other cases, one half of the couple could be jealous or envious of the accomplishments or experiences of their mate.  Again, these are feelings I can’t understand.  If you like/love someone you should encourage them to be more accomplished, and at the same time you should be working to elevate yourself as well.  We can only blame ourselves for the level of achievement we reach, or fail to reach.  Each of us has the ability to make the changes and the sacrifices necessary to reach a higher plateau.  Jealousy and/or envy are not the golden ticket, and those feelings have no place in a relationship.

If you can’t tell, I think that anybody who feels as if they can’t hang with me, obviously can’t and the sooner you make that known the sooner you can stop wasting my time.

Please note that all of this has been written under the assumption that the person who is more accomplished in the relationship is level headed and does not attempt to make their mate feel like less of a person.

So who out there is willing to admit that they have felt intimidated or less than qualified to date a particular person?  What caused these feelings? Did you ever make your partner aware of your thoughts?