His Point of View

Today I was asked why one woman is not enough for most men.  I quickly though of about 7 reasons, and I quickly decided that it was a topic that deserved more attention.  Its not that I have some earth shattering ideas about this subject, but when I say how I feel many people react as if they have never heard such a point of view before…so here it is.  Much of what I say applies to infidelity in general, not just to men who cheat.

Of course many people quickly write cheaters off as people with little self control, or people who are greedy, or careless, etc.  It is very easy to lump all cheaters into one big pile of people who can’t keep their body parts under control.  But its more than that, if you are a close minded person who refuses to entertain other possibilities you should stop reading now.  If  you haven’t noticed this is “Part 1″ there will be more to come about this topic this week.

The key to this topic is this, love and sex have nothing to do with each other.  Many women feel that their man won’ t have sex with other women if he loves her.  Most men who are honest will tell you that’s not how we see it. We have sex with women long before we love them.  We have sex with women that we met a few hours ago.  Many men who make major sacrifices for, and who would die for their wives still have sex with other women.  Some men who treat their lady like a queen and do all the things normally associated with taking care of one’s family, still have sex with other women.  It is true that some men may not really be in love, or they may just be playing the role, but a lot of men who are really in love with their lady still find themselves in people they should not be in.  If you are the type of woman who has only been intimate with men you were seriously dating perhaps this is somewhat difficult to understand, but I think this is the basis of how a man who does care for his mate can still have sex with other women.   Everything I discuss from this point will build on this idea, or the possibility that he is not in love with you at all and he just wants to keep you around for whatever reason.

The next fundamental issue is communication.  If you or your mate can’t communicate openly you are setting yourself up for failure.  If a couple are so in love that they are afraid that they will make their mate uncomfortable when discussing sex that is a problem.  If one partner prefers certain things that they are ashamed of, or that they think their mate is too conservative to participate in either you will suck it up and go without, or you will get it from somewhere else.  Often people suck it up for long periods of time until its thrown in their face, or until they can’t take the drought any longer.   If people were able to communicate what they like or dislike about their sex life with their mate some cheating could be avoided.  It could cause some hard decisions to be made, but that is a part of life.  Either you will come to some middle ground and stay together or you won’t, but either way its better to face the music and be with, or find a person who makes you happy in and out of the bedroom.

Part 2 will cover some more controversial thoughts I have on this topic so be sure to come back for more.