His Point of View

Over the last few years I have taken part in many conversations (and overheard many discussions) with people who claim to be seeking love, or seeking a long lasting relationship.  One common theme that I have run across goes something like this, ” I want a man, but I don’t want to give up any of the things I have grown used to while single.”  Excuse me???? But I thought that the point of having a relationship was two fold (aside from the part about having raising children and all), partly to not have to do those same things you did while you were single, and to have someone to share in all those things that you do enjoy doing in life.

If you have been single for some time and as a result you have filled your time with twelve different activities and a weekly girl’s night out you should be glad to cut back on those filler activities in order to grow with the right person.  If you don’t want to skip  a couple girl’s night outs, and you don’t want to cancel one of your knitting workshop groups then you may not want a relationship as much as you think. Also if you have lived alone for some time, and you cringe at the thought of having a person in your home, sitting on your couch watching TV or rifling through your fridge then you may need to just give up on the idea of having a serious relationship.

A natural part of the dating cycle is that you grow closer to one of the people that you date, and you incorporate each other into the activities that you enjoy, and you welcome them into your home.  If you can not fathom the idea of not doing all the things that you want to do, when you want to do them then the single life is exactly where you need to be.  No man or woman of any substance is going to live by your schedule and do all the things that you want to do when you want to do them.  Don’t let your regularly scheduled program cause you to miss the the once in a lifetime special programming event.

If you are fulfilled by the activities you take part in, and you are happy & comfortable living the single life that is a great thing.  A problem arises when people who wish to remain selfish with their time allow others to get close before springing the news that they are really unavailable.  It is even worse when these same people complain about being single.  You can’t have it both ways, either you live your life free with no commitments or you have to make sacrifices and changes to your schedule to accommodate the time it takes to develop and maintain a relationship.   As the old saying goes, people will make time for the things they want to focus on, and if you are with someone who makes little to no time for you that could be a sign that they are either not ready to make time for a relationship, or they are just not that much into you.