His Point of View

Soooooo… the person you have been dating (or that you have been in a relationship with) has expressed that they no longer want to continue moving forward with you.  The only decision you have left to make at this point is; do you go quietly into the sunset or do you find out what the problem is/was and attempt to do whatever you feel is necessary to fall back into favor with that person?

In order to truly know when to hold’em and when to fold’em you have to understand the real reason that the person wishes to move in a different direction.  If they chose to not be honest there is not much you can do about the situation, but if they do give you honest feedback you can decide to accept it and count this relationship as a loss or fight for what you think is a salvageable relationship.  If you decide to fight for what you want you run the risk of being viewed as “the stalker”, or the “crazy -ex” if your former mate is absolutely determined to not give you another shot at love.  There is often a fine line between going the distance to show how much you are willing to do to make things right, and being “the stalker” or simply annoying your former mate to the point that you put the final nail in the coffin and close the door on any opportunity you may have had at a future reunion.

How do you know when you should give up the fight?  Many times a person who has done the dumping is fighting an internal battle within themselves to determine if their decision was the right one, and this can cause their reaction to your efforts to be unpredictable or not in line with how they are feeling deep inside making it almost impossible to tell if you should quit or work harder to get your ex-mate back.  Another possible option you can exercise in this situation is to chose to believe that anyone who does not want to be with you is ultimately missing out and its their loss… That is definitely the most simple solution, but this solution could result in both of you missing out on a good thing if your breakup was due to a mis-understanding or a miscommunication.

Knowing when to fold’em is definitely an issue that I have no solution for, as each person in each relationship is different.  The level of effective, open communication between the parties involved is likely the key factor in how to respond to a breakup.  Ideally your communications during relationships are open and effective enough that any issues are put on the table before they fester under the surface and explode all of a sudden.

I want you all to post some of your thoughts, horror stories and happily ever after stories that resulted from you or your mate working overtime to salvage a relationship.