Since the election of our first Negro/African American/Black/Brotha/Nigga/Nigger President the phrase post racial society has been tossed around.  Its bologna. Racism is live and well.  The issue of the day is this advertisement by Nivea which depicts a man of  African descent throwing away mask of an afro wearing, facial hair having black man for a clean shaven “civilized man”.

This ad is just the latest of a series of monthly, if not weekly examples of how racism is still bubbling up in every corner of society.  Last week it was the so called expert blaming the societal ills of the city of London on “black male culture.”  Oh let us not forget the movie “The Help”, which was written by a white woman.  Many say that the movie was a white washed version of the reality of black house servants in the mid 1900′s in America.  The week before that is was the use of the word “nigga” by white female rapper V-Nasty (who?) and all of the black male producers and rappers (also a few white celebrities) who came to her rescue, attempting to give her a “pass” to use the word freely because she was reportedly raised in a primarily black neighborhood(as if that means she can’t be racist, although I am not saying she is racist, I don’t know enough of her to make that claim ).  The week before that we had riots in London started by the alleged wrongful killing of a black man by the police.  I will stop there, as  this post might never end if I continue.  The point of it all is that racism is not something that no longer exists simply because we may chose to ignore it. We don’t have many social movements or rallies against racism anymore, and people who accuse others of racism are quickly ostracized as “pulling the race card” simply because the non-minority may not see or understand the way race factors into that particular event.  The term most appropriate is “white privilege.”  You may very well not be overtly or consciously racist, hell you may not be racist at all, but the fact that you don’t acknowledge or understand how the racism of the government and your ancestors has given you a huge leg up on minorities is a major cause of what many call racist actions or thoughts today.  If your great grandfather owned a business 100 years ago and that set the foundation for your family to be upper middle class and it allowed you to attend a particular University you may not realize that you are benefiting from a privilege.  In most of the country 100 years ago a black man (continue reading…)

Last weekend I attended the Big Cherry Block Party in Silver Spring, MD to hang out with the crew from Pinz-N-Needlez Tattoo shop while they performed body painting and interacted with former and future customers.  Take a look at the video from the day.

Body Painting @ Big Cherry Street Festival

Below you will find a reader’s email message and my response.  Please note that my response if just my opinion, I am not in any way a certified counseling professional.

“I enjoy reading your article.
I am currently dating a separated man who’s in the process of a divorce. (his wife filed) He has been separated from his wife for 10 months and we’ve been dating for 4 months. They both have a 5 year old they share custody with. I live 2 hours away and we see each other once a week. i do the driving to come see him mainly because i have family in his town and so i split my time between my family and him. The problem that i have is that sometimes his wife calls him at the last minute to watch their daughter and our date plans are cancelled. Because of this we either don’t see each other for weeks at a time or every once in a while i will go to his place and spend a few minutes with him and his daughter-we usually watch a disney movie. However, he is careful to not show me any affection when we are in front of his daughter. i understand, but when 1-2 weeks goes by without any type of affection or intimacy, it can be a bit frustrating-plus we only talk on the phone once a week. i mainly do the calling and he’s great with calling me back, but when i don’t call him, i usually dont hear from him. we’ve talked about it but he said there is not much he can do about it and that his daughter is his 1st priority-which i understand 100%. i have never been married nor have any children but would like to in the future,. he is a nice guy and a great father. i really like him, but am i wasting my time dating him? what are your thoughts on my situation? thanks”

I first thank you for reading my blog…

Now about this relationship situation.  (continue reading…)

J is for Junkie [Full Length] from Greedmont Park on Vimeo.

This video reminds me of so many things… the J’s (Junkies) in my family, Sun Valley Apartments in the 1980′s, the neighborhood I lived in during my college years, the grown men who I have seen “entertaining”(singing, dancing, etc.) dope boys hoping to score their next hit, the mechanic who rebuilt my car’s engine for about $100, that dude who tried to sell me a washer and dryer for $50, the lady who used to go door to door trying to sell used shoes for a couple dollars, the kid I went to high school with that I saw strung out… before we (I) graduated, the fights I witnessed over debts, that time my neighbors ran off someone who broke into my house in the middle of the night, the night I had $15,000 in my hands to “hold” for someone while they went to “take care of some business”, that time a friend of mine sat up all night dressed in black waiting for someone, the stories I was told about Techwood Homes, when the stories were verified by an independent third party years later, the police raid while i was sleeping, the cars, the bikes, the women, the strip clubs, the block parties,the food, the night clubs, the back woods car races for $20,000 a race,  the little shabby pickup truck that used to signal the end for the dealers who foolishly tried to make that sale to a stranger, that time I saw the police pull that guy through his car window in the parking lot of Albertson’s, my professor’s son who used to come to the hood to get his “party supplies”, the (Caucasian) state capital employees who used to come to the hood to score hits, The J who cut my grass for a bottle of white wine, then walked around the neighborhood drunk the rest of the day, the pictures of semi-nude women sent to dudes in jail, the homie who got 9 years (for conspiracy to distribute), the homie who got 25 to life(for a fistfight which happened to be his 3rd strike), the homie who was still on the run last I heard, the homie who was killed, the first time I saw someone whipping the work, the homie who got 2nd-3rd degree burns when the pyrex pot broke while he was cooking, the time the two guys were hiding behind trees at night waiting for someone, the guy in the neighborhood who was up in the tree with a video camera wearing camouflage…LoL, the time I was told to ride in the other car, the time in the restaurant when we didn’t have to pay, the time in the strip club when everybody had a good time, but none of the girls were paid in cash, the decision I made that allows me to have the career I have today, the other stuff that I can’t write on this blog…(and don’t ask about it)

I have never sold or used crack or any form of cocaine, but it has definitely affected my life in many ways.

Watch this video, spread the link… help get some exposure for this young videographer, so that he can bring us more food for thought.

Below are a few lessons I have learned during my journey through life to date… I just thought I’d take a moment to share.

1. Figure out what works, improve on it… Repeat

2. Figure out what doesn’t work and decide to stop doing those things or decide to fix the problem(s)… Repeat.

3. Learn from the mistakes of others…Don’t believe anyone who says that you can’t learn from someone who has never “done it” or has never “been there”.  The smartest people avoid pitfalls by observing others, the not so smart people want to learn everything from personal experience.

4.  Help everybody you can…especially if (continue reading…)

If you know me well, you know that there are a few things that I really enjoy consuming: fine chocolate, fine cheese, good wine, and excellent beer. My birthday was yesterday, and I can say that this entire weekend was dedicated to enjoying all four items listed above. I picked up four 8 oz. cheese slices this week and I have stared on two of them, Drunken Goat and Chimay Grand Cru. (continue reading…)

Why do you have a job? That is the question I posed to people I was having dinner with recently.

Both of the people I dined with were young graduate degree holders.  Both of them expressed disappointment with their current employment situation.  So I wondered why they were not taking advantage of their education and the current economic/political climate to start some venture of their own, even if it does not mean immediately quitting their day jobs.  Well at least one of the people at the table reminded me of the classic response, which is fear.  I wonder though, what are most people afraid of?  Afraid of failure?  Afraid of hard work?  Afraid of the unknown?  There could be a dozen things one could be afraid of, but I don’t understand the fear when you have nothing to lose.  Starting a business does not mean large expenditures or quitting your current job with no reliable income.  The only thing there is to sacrifice is your “free time” (if you are not happy with your position in life and successful, by your own definition of the word…you really should not have any “free time”)and a couple hundred dollars in filing fees.  Since I started my own company (continue reading…)

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I have been on a number of dates with a variety of women. I have noticed that there are a few things that any woman, no matter how intelligent, beautiful, or sexy can do that will completely remove her from the list of contenders. One of the biggest turn offs for many men is a woman who focuses on what she doesn’t want or what she doesn’t do. There is a difference in being open and being unreasonable. Telling a man the list of things you are not willing to do is not attractive. If you don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t do laundry, don’t perform oral sex, or don’t do dishes that’s all fine and dandy, but I am almost certain that you would get much farther if you simply kept all of that to yourself. If you are communicating effectively there will be ample time to communicate your desires and your dislikes through a thing called conversation. There will also be plenty of time to observe the actions of the person you are dating, these observations will either tell you all you need to know, or provide the trigger for the necessary focused questions. There is rarely ever a reason to announce what one will or won’t do, the saying “actions speak louder than words” is the truth. In other words; don’t talk about it, be about it.

When I hear a woman run down the list of what she is not willing to do only a couple things come to mind. Thought #1 (continue reading…)

I have been asked on many occasions why I don’t talk to, or try to connect with more women; or if I am out with friends it may be why I did not try to “holla at” a certain woman.  My simple answer is that it has to be about more than just looks.  Its not that I am shy or extremely afraid of rejection.  Its just that at the end of the day I have to have a reason to speak to a woman, other than the fact that I find her attractive.  Inevitably if you do connect with someone the conversation arises that goes something like this, “So what was it that made you want to speak to me?” And I refuse to honestly answer that question by saying that it was because you were “hot”, “sexy”, “cute” or whatever word you prefer.  I see gorgeous women every few minutes or every day, if I based my decision on who to connect with based on looks (continue reading…)