His Point of View

So far this year (its currently only day 5 of 2012) I have been a party in two discussions about how to make a relationship work.   Its pretty simple… communicate effectively, and compromise.  A relationship is nothing more than a description of how multiple people interact with each other. For a relationship to exist long term and to grow stronger all parties must give and take.

With regard to healthy romantic relationships, no one person should be doing significantly more taking than the other.  Each person can give in their own way, but it should be in a way that adds value to the other person’s life.  If one person gives and feels that they are not being taken care of they will become unhappy, and that will lead to any number of dysfunctional actions.    Often people feel as if they are giving a lot, while their mate does not agree, because what is being given is not seen as valuable by the person receiving.  We should learn what things we can do to add value and or comfort to our mate’s life so that we can show them that we are considering their feelings in a way that they will recognize.   Along those lines each party has a duty to (continue reading…)

Today I came across an interesting article that supports my side of a recent conversation I had with a female friend [click the link to see the article]-> blogs.ajc.com. I’m pretty sure you have heard the saying “Happy wife, happy marriage”… but what about the husband’s happiness??? Well according to the article referenced above you ladies need to be more concerned with your husband’s happiness…LoL Apparently there was a study performed ( by Kristina Dzara at Southern Illinois University) which states the following: (continue reading…)

Below you will find a reader’s email message and my response.  Please note that my response if just my opinion, I am not in any way a certified counseling professional.

“I enjoy reading your article.
I am currently dating a separated man who’s in the process of a divorce. (his wife filed) He has been separated from his wife for 10 months and we’ve been dating for 4 months. They both have a 5 year old they share custody with. I live 2 hours away and we see each other once a week. i do the driving to come see him mainly because i have family in his town and so i split my time between my family and him. The problem that i have is that sometimes his wife calls him at the last minute to watch their daughter and our date plans are cancelled. Because of this we either don’t see each other for weeks at a time or every once in a while i will go to his place and spend a few minutes with him and his daughter-we usually watch a disney movie. However, he is careful to not show me any affection when we are in front of his daughter. i understand, but when 1-2 weeks goes by without any type of affection or intimacy, it can be a bit frustrating-plus we only talk on the phone once a week. i mainly do the calling and he’s great with calling me back, but when i don’t call him, i usually dont hear from him. we’ve talked about it but he said there is not much he can do about it and that his daughter is his 1st priority-which i understand 100%. i have never been married nor have any children but would like to in the future,. he is a nice guy and a great father. i really like him, but am i wasting my time dating him? what are your thoughts on my situation? thanks”

I first thank you for reading my blog…

Now about this relationship situation.  (continue reading…)

I have been on a number of dates with a variety of women. I have noticed that there are a few things that any woman, no matter how intelligent, beautiful, or sexy can do that will completely remove her from the list of contenders. One of the biggest turn offs for many men is a woman who focuses on what she doesn’t want or what she doesn’t do. There is a difference in being open and being unreasonable. Telling a man the list of things you are not willing to do is not attractive. If you don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t do laundry, don’t perform oral sex, or don’t do dishes that’s all fine and dandy, but I am almost certain that you would get much farther if you simply kept all of that to yourself. If you are communicating effectively there will be ample time to communicate your desires and your dislikes through a thing called conversation. There will also be plenty of time to observe the actions of the person you are dating, these observations will either tell you all you need to know, or provide the trigger for the necessary focused questions. There is rarely ever a reason to announce what one will or won’t do, the saying “actions speak louder than words” is the truth. In other words; don’t talk about it, be about it.

When I hear a woman run down the list of what she is not willing to do only a couple things come to mind. Thought #1 (continue reading…)

I have been asked on many occasions why I don’t talk to, or try to connect with more women; or if I am out with friends it may be why I did not try to “holla at” a certain woman.  My simple answer is that it has to be about more than just looks.  Its not that I am shy or extremely afraid of rejection.  Its just that at the end of the day I have to have a reason to speak to a woman, other than the fact that I find her attractive.  Inevitably if you do connect with someone the conversation arises that goes something like this, “So what was it that made you want to speak to me?” And I refuse to honestly answer that question by saying that it was because you were “hot”, “sexy”, “cute” or whatever word you prefer.  I see gorgeous women every few minutes or every day, if I based my decision on who to connect with based on looks (continue reading…)

This year was my first trip to the International CES in Las Vegas.  I saw the usual stuff, new phones, new televisions, new games, etc… What I decided to highlight are the things you may not hear about or see anywhere in the mainstream media.  This is the first product of my series the OhMiBod “personal massagers”… I am sure you know what that really means.  But check out the video and the product if you like it.

After you watch the video check out their website for more information just click here. Or go to http://www.ohmibod.com

I have a new idea for a video blog segment, but I need your help to pull it off.  I would like you to submit questions or topics regarding relationships or things that men/women do that you don’t understand.  Before you ask, no my idea is not just another guy sitting around telling the world what he thinks about women and relationships… this is something different, so please feel free to send me your ideas at hispointofview@hotmail.com

Don’t be limited by my request, please send any questions that you would like another opinion on…LoL

Today I heard a young lady (she is in the age range of 25-27) say that most women only want a man for his heart, and nothing more.  I could not allow her comment to go uncorrected.  It sounded to me as if she lived in a fairytale world, where there are princes, princesses, and knights in shining armor.  While the reality is that nothing is that simple, we all have motives and desires, and love is not all that most men or women want from their mate.  I responded by saying that although women say they only want love the majority of them want one or more things from a man including; financial security, physical safety, emotional safety, vacations, gifts, romance, or a host of other things.  Most(read, almost all) people regardless of gender want a lot more than just love from their mate.  If love were all that was required by women there would be no divorces due to financial hardship, working long hours, or leaving the toilet seat up.

When discussing what we want from a mate there are a few different types of people.  Some people admit that they are looking for a person to provide certain things, whether it be cooking, cleaning, sex, financial support, or whatever it is that makes one feel satisfied or safe.  Some people say that they just want to share true love and nothing more, but they still maintain a laundry list of requirements and they do not see the fact that they have a list of requirements as them wanting/requiring something more than just love.  And there are those few people who (continue reading…)

Love does not endure without maintenance or nurturing.  The act of loving someone, especially one who is not a member of one’s family requires effort.  Even loving family members who continually hurt themselves, other family members, or us requires effort, but that’s a different story all together.  Over the years I have had conversations with many people who claim that once they love someone, they will forever.  Many of these people claim that it is not possible to stop loving a person once you have loved them.  I disagree whole heartedly. (continue reading…)

Soooooo… the person you have been dating (or that you have been in a relationship with) has expressed that they no longer want to continue moving forward with you.  The only decision you have left to make at this point is; do you go quietly into the sunset or do you find out what the problem is/was and attempt to do whatever you feel is necessary to fall back into favor with that person?

In order to truly know when to hold’em and when to fold’em you have to understand the real reason that the person wishes to move in a different direction.  If they chose to not be honest (continue reading…)