His Point of View

I could not have said it better myself http://thenakedwar.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/sucker-punched-33/

I have been on a number of dates with a variety of women. I have noticed that there are a few things that any woman, no matter how intelligent, beautiful, or sexy can do that will completely remove her from the list of contenders. One of the biggest turn offs for many men is a woman who focuses on what she doesn’t want or what she doesn’t do. There is a difference in being open and being unreasonable. Telling a man the list of things you are not willing to do is not attractive. If you don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t do laundry, don’t perform oral sex, or don’t do dishes that’s all fine and dandy, but I am almost certain that you would get much farther if you simply kept all of that to yourself. If you are communicating effectively there will be ample time to communicate your desires and your dislikes through a thing called conversation. There will also be plenty of time to observe the actions of the person you are dating, these observations will either tell you all you need to know, or provide the trigger for the necessary focused questions. There is rarely ever a reason to announce what one will or won’t do, the saying “actions speak louder than words” is the truth. In other words; don’t talk about it, be about it.

When I hear a woman run down the list of what she is not willing to do only a couple things come to mind. Thought #1 (continue reading…)

I have been asked on many occasions why I don’t talk to, or try to connect with more women; or if I am out with friends it may be why I did not try to “holla at” a certain woman.  My simple answer is that it has to be about more than just looks.  Its not that I am shy or extremely afraid of rejection.  Its just that at the end of the day I have to have a reason to speak to a woman, other than the fact that I find her attractive.  Inevitably if you do connect with someone the conversation arises that goes something like this, “So what was it that made you want to speak to me?” And I refuse to honestly answer that question by saying that it was because you were “hot”, “sexy”, “cute” or whatever word you prefer.  I see gorgeous women every few minutes or every day, if I based my decision on who to connect with based on looks (continue reading…)

I must be a genius or people think I am a bit slow, because there are too many people who think that they can pull a fast one on me for some reason.  The way I see it people who try to pull one over on others or tell lies have to believe in their mind that they are smarter than the person they are trying to take advantage of.  I have to take a quote from the late rap artist Pimp C “Aye man I just look like this man, know what I’m talkin’ bout. I ain’t get this far bein’ no square man.“  I most certainly did not get this far by being no square mane.   I stay sharp.

I used to find pleasure in crushing those who attempted to take advantage of me, but at this point I have crushed so many people that it is no longer entertaining and frankly its getting old.  When will people learn to listen when I tell them that I respect honesty no matter if I like the news they bring. Just tell the whole truth the first time and we can work out the details (continue reading…)

Today I heard a young lady (she is in the age range of 25-27) say that most women only want a man for his heart, and nothing more.  I could not allow her comment to go uncorrected.  It sounded to me as if she lived in a fairytale world, where there are princes, princesses, and knights in shining armor.  While the reality is that nothing is that simple, we all have motives and desires, and love is not all that most men or women want from their mate.  I responded by saying that although women say they only want love the majority of them want one or more things from a man including; financial security, physical safety, emotional safety, vacations, gifts, romance, or a host of other things.  Most(read, almost all) people regardless of gender want a lot more than just love from their mate.  If love were all that was required by women there would be no divorces due to financial hardship, working long hours, or leaving the toilet seat up.

When discussing what we want from a mate there are a few different types of people.  Some people admit that they are looking for a person to provide certain things, whether it be cooking, cleaning, sex, financial support, or whatever it is that makes one feel satisfied or safe.  Some people say that they just want to share true love and nothing more, but they still maintain a laundry list of requirements and they do not see the fact that they have a list of requirements as them wanting/requiring something more than just love.  And there are those few people who (continue reading…)

Over the last few years I have taken part in many conversations (and overheard many discussions) with people who claim to be seeking love, or seeking a long lasting relationship.  One common theme that I have run across goes something like this, ” I want a man, but I don’t want to give up any of the things I have grown used to while single.”  Excuse me???? But I thought that the point of having a relationship was (continue reading…)

Recently I was out with a friend and we visited a bar that has a diverse group of patrons. While at this bar I met a young lady who was born and lived until her teen years in a South American country. We had a decent conversation and then I was asked a question I have never encountered while out socially, or even from someone I have dated. ‘You aren’t a racist, are you?’ I stopped for a second to think about what I could have said to trigger such a question, and I came up with nothing. She indicated that I had not said anything out of line, but it was something she felt the need to ask since she had experienced problems with racism in the past since arriving in the US. (continue reading…)

Ok so maybe this post is not really about why men cheat per se, but it does explain how some relationships are set up for failure from square one. Men are not as dumb or stupid and many women may think, often we recognize what is being done and we just respond in a manner that women do not expect, sometimes because we know what you all are up to, and at other times because we just think about things differently.  The very things that some women do in order to find out if they have a man worth keeping, or to test a man’s fortitude, are the same things that tell us that this particular woman is playing games, and we shouldn’t take her too seriously.  Now on to the good stuff… enjoy!

Sex is not as important to men as it is to women.   I will repeat that…Sex is not as important to men as it is to women. (continue reading…)

Today I was asked why one woman is not enough for most men.  I quickly though of about 7 reasons, and I quickly decided that it was a topic that deserved more attention.  Its not that I have some earth shattering ideas about this subject, but when I say how I feel many people react as if they have never heard such a point of view before…so here it is.  Much of what I say applies to infidelity in general, not just to men who cheat.

Of course many people quickly write cheaters off as people with little self control, or people who are greedy, or careless, etc.  It is very easy to lump all cheaters into one big pile of people who can’t keep their body parts under control.  But its more than that, (continue reading…)

Since I graduated from college I have noticed a lot of young people who have had a divorce.  In this case, by young I mean under the age of thirty years old.  I have even met a few ladies who were divorced before they reached age 23.  I do know that people get married for the wrong reasons, including in my opinion due to: pregnancy, loneliness, pressure from family/friends, or just because they were in a relationship with a person for many years and it seems like the next thing to do.  It is only reasonable that a person will want to exit stage right once they figure out that their decision to marry was made using poor reasoning.  I am not blaming anyone for making the decision to marry or to divorce.

My question to you people who may have been divorced before the age of thirty is how has it affected your life?  Has the fact that you were once married affected negatively or positively your present dating situation?

Have you found that people consider you to be “damaged goods” because of the perception that a divorcee may have relationship or emotional problems as a result?

For those of us who have never been married, what thoughts do you have when you meet a divorcee on the dating scene?  Many people tend to  blame the opposite sex for (continue reading…)