His Point of View

Today I heard a young lady (she is in the age range of 25-27) say that most women only want a man for his heart, and nothing more.  I could not allow her comment to go uncorrected.  It sounded to me as if she lived in a fairytale world, where there are princes, princesses, and knights in shining armor.  While the reality is that nothing is that simple, we all have motives and desires, and love is not all that most men or women want from their mate.  I responded by saying that although women say they only want love the majority of them want one or more things from a man including; financial security, physical safety, emotional safety, vacations, gifts, romance, or a host of other things.  Most(read, almost all) people regardless of gender want a lot more than just love from their mate.  If love were all that was required by women there would be no divorces due to financial hardship, working long hours, or leaving the toilet seat up.

When discussing what we want from a mate there are a few different types of people.  Some people admit that they are looking for a person to provide certain things, whether it be cooking, cleaning, sex, financial support, or whatever it is that makes one feel satisfied or safe.  Some people say that they just want to share true love and nothing more, but they still maintain a laundry list of requirements and they do not see the fact that they have a list of requirements as them wanting/requiring something more than just love.  And there are those few people who (continue reading…)

Love does not endure without maintenance or nurturing.  The act of loving someone, especially one who is not a member of one’s family requires effort.  Even loving family members who continually hurt themselves, other family members, or us requires effort, but that’s a different story all together.  Over the years I have had conversations with many people who claim that once they love someone, they will forever.  Many of these people claim that it is not possible to stop loving a person once you have loved them.  I disagree whole heartedly. (continue reading…)

Soooooo… the person you have been dating (or that you have been in a relationship with) has expressed that they no longer want to continue moving forward with you.  The only decision you have left to make at this point is; do you go quietly into the sunset or do you find out what the problem is/was and attempt to do whatever you feel is necessary to fall back into favor with that person?

In order to truly know when to hold’em and when to fold’em you have to understand the real reason that the person wishes to move in a different direction.  If they chose to not be honest (continue reading…)

Over the last few years I have taken part in many conversations (and overheard many discussions) with people who claim to be seeking love, or seeking a long lasting relationship.  One common theme that I have run across goes something like this, ” I want a man, but I don’t want to give up any of the things I have grown used to while single.”  Excuse me???? But I thought that the point of having a relationship was (continue reading…)

It seems as if single women who have attained a level of success are  erroneously blame emasculation as a major factor in their failed relationships with men.  I am here to tell you that this is a false line of thinking.  I do not know of a single case in the real world where a man was run off because the woman he was dating was too successful.  This whole idea of emasculation resulting from dating a successful woman is pure hogwash.   I would dare to say that the women who believe that their success causes men to run and hide are either seeking out the type of men who feel as if the man has to be 100% in charge of every facet of the relationship or these women are in denial of the fact that they have one or more flaws in their personality which is repelling men.

What men don’t like no matter what level of success a woman may think she has is as follows (in no particular order): (continue reading…)

Why is it that some ladies want to keep their ex-husband’s last name after a divorce?  This is something that I do not understand.  If you no longer want to be with that man, why would you want to keep his name attached to yours?  Today I watched two television shows starring woman who are divorced and I spoke to a woman that I know personally who all are divorced yet have kept their ex-husband’s last name.  I have heard a couple of arguments of why a woman would want to do such a thing including: to have the same last name as her children and to maintain her name recognition (in the case of celebrities or well know business women).  I don’t think that either of those are really valid reasons to keep the name of a person you no longer wish to share your life with.  I think that these women simply do not want to endure administrative hassle of changing their name, or they are purposely attempting to keep a link to their ex-husband for some reason (e.g. spite, residual emotional feelings, marketplace name recognition, etc.) If you are attempting to keep the same last name as your children, what happens when you re-marry?  At some point these women are likely to have a different last name than their children, I do not know of any man who would be satisfied if his wife (continue reading…)

Alright, so you made it this far…so now it time for the controversy to begin.  I will jump right in and offer the thought that perhaps no creatures on this planet we call Earth are meant to be monogamous.  Apparently there is no evidence to show that there is a single species of animal known where there is no infidelity.   Since we humans are animals we are also included in the list of creatures which are not completely monogamous.

OK, now that I said it and you are still reading, let’s go a little deeper into this idea.  We all realize that it is difficult to find a person we are compatible with.  Once you have found a seemingly compatible person it is yet even more difficult to make a relationship work.  Perhaps the way we typically structure our relationships is against nature’s design.  Recent studies have shown that approximately 60% of men and 55% of women have admitted to cheating on a spouse (continue reading…)

Ok so maybe this post is not really about why men cheat per se, but it does explain how some relationships are set up for failure from square one. Men are not as dumb or stupid and many women may think, often we recognize what is being done and we just respond in a manner that women do not expect, sometimes because we know what you all are up to, and at other times because we just think about things differently.  The very things that some women do in order to find out if they have a man worth keeping, or to test a man’s fortitude, are the same things that tell us that this particular woman is playing games, and we shouldn’t take her too seriously.  Now on to the good stuff… enjoy!

Sex is not as important to men as it is to women.   I will repeat that…Sex is not as important to men as it is to women. (continue reading…)

Today I was asked why one woman is not enough for most men.  I quickly though of about 7 reasons, and I quickly decided that it was a topic that deserved more attention.  Its not that I have some earth shattering ideas about this subject, but when I say how I feel many people react as if they have never heard such a point of view before…so here it is.  Much of what I say applies to infidelity in general, not just to men who cheat.

Of course many people quickly write cheaters off as people with little self control, or people who are greedy, or careless, etc.  It is very easy to lump all cheaters into one big pile of people who can’t keep their body parts under control.  But its more than that, (continue reading…)

Can your accomplishments in life frighten off potential mates?  Or is it best that people who are weak enough to feel that you are “better” than they are weeded out early in the dating process?

I have read and heard that entrepreneurs, people with advanced degrees (e.g. Master’s or PhD.), people who have seen the world, or even those who are very popular locally, etc. have difficulty maintaining relationships.  Often I feel that high achievers, or those who THINK that they are high achievers may (continue reading…)